"Crap. I'm having a baby."
Like an actual baby. Another one. I've stopped thinking about it in terms of Ollies little brother but actually as an individual. It occurred to me that I needed to buy newborn nappies! And maternity pads. That I needed to actually pack a hospital bag.
The pram which was ordered last week arrived and is brilliant. So that made me feel a little better. My mum was here till Thursday helping with the house and we got a lot done but there is still a lot outstanding. It's odd because when I try and think of all the things we've had to do it just seems endless, but also like I can't understand why it's taken so long, and why we're still going! But then if you break it down you see how much time it all takes.
Let's look at the one job of doing the downstairs skirting boards, this meant measuring, buying wood, cutting it, sanding it, fitting it with sprit levels and hammers and nails, painting the wood knots with oil to stop then bleeding, putting masking tape down on the tiles in the kitchen to not spoil them with paint, priming with acrylic paint, painting two layers of gloss, sanding, siliconing the gaps, touching up the wall emulsion that inevitably got a few splatters.
So one job scrawled on the "To-Do" list as "downstairs skirting" actually was 13 jobs.
I've become a lot more practical. I'm painting, I'm up ladders, but I'm being careful. I have to be careful because my hips are really really sore, all the time, and then agonisingly painful if I work myself too hard.
I feel enormous and cumbersome and swollen. I weigh more than I've ever weighed in my whole life. And I still have up to 8 weeks to go with pounds that keep piling on from no where. I am bloated, my boobs are rock hard and filling with colostrum. I am tired and achey and keep waking in the night with leg cramps. A recent blood test came back that I'm anaemic which might explain some of it.
At the end of the week I had a bit of a breakdown when I realised that I had one week of holiday left before returning to work (I'm only going back for a fortnight, although might not manage it...) and we were meant to be going to Devon to see my sister and spend time at the seaside. We were going to be leaving an unfinished house and an unorganised baby's room. So tears ensued and the decision came to stay at home and get this all finally finished. So as I write this now, on Monday night, a bit late and already 34 weeks, we are home and we are getting there.
I bought newborn nappies today. And maternity pads. I have washed 3 loads of white and blue newborn vests and sleepsuits and sheets and blankets and muslins. I am going to be a new mummy again and this house is going to get bloody finished.
And then the fun will really start.
Thanks for reading xx